The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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