I wannas sexs uuuuu
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
