i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Couch. On fire.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
