Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
