All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
