On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
