we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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