Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
