Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
