I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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