You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
