Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Do vagina's smell?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
