Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
