so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
