Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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