you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
