Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
