Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize