I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
