Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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