oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
