I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Im part way to drunk.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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