He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
