If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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