good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize