Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
