IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
