just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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