thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
