i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
