I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
