You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
