Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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