there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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