hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
