uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You left your phone here
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