That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize