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She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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