if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
