she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Sacagawea was the original milf.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
