I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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