she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Sorry my hands just texted you
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
