butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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