You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
