last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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