I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I lost the right to judge tonight
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
