i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I can feel your judgement through the phone
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
