I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize
