I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
