Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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