Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
