When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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