dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
