Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
