Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
