i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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