C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
