Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I don't deserve a penis
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
