Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
