I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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